Songs I Dance To In My Apartment
Song 4: Beyonce - Freakum Dress
“Freakum dress” has replaced “ho dress” for most of the population, and this song lends to quite a bit of “ho dancin”, which is the best kind of dancing there is. The beat to this song gets INSANELY SICK about halfway through, and makes bitches (me) drop down to the ground and hump the air like it’s Kip Winger circa 1980whatever. Oh baby. I love this jam.
Might I add Beyonce’s curly wig in this vid gives me a boner? K bye.
Hey, you guys.
Anyone remember Floetry? They were an R&B group back in the early 2000’s who you kind of had to watch BET to see. They had some amazing songs, though…”Say Yes” is one of the best.
Anyway, see this chick on the right? With the reddish afro? She’s a solo artist now and she looks like this.
HOT DAMN, BITCH!
While it bums me out she’s mostly being applauded for not being a “big girl” anymore, she looks fucking AMAZING. Goes to show you amateur tricks what a weave and some MAC can do, huh?!
Enjoy this link to Marsha saying some funny shit about the Lil’ Kim/Nicki Minaj ‘thang’.
Ok, I can’t keep this to myself anymore. I may have had one too many hard ciders but I need to put this somewhere. One of my classmates has the most horriblest ass weave on the planet. “Horriblest” isn’t even a word but it accurately describes how bad it is. As you all may know, “bad weaves” are on my list of things that annoy me. She’s had it in for about a month now and it’s a constant distraction.
Let me try to put into words a description of it. Dig if you will a picture of a Halloween mermaid costume wig. Got that in your mind’s eye? Good. Now picture said wig on the morning of November 1st. Shit’s all ratty, disheveled and generally fucked up. That’s how my classmate’s hair looks. It looks like Diana Ross was driving down the road doing 100mph in a convertible, her wig flew off, fell onto the road and was then run over by 200 trucks. She has abandoned Diana Ross wig hair.
All of this wouldn’t be such a problem if she wasn’t always slinging it, twirling it around her fingers, and braiding it. Or maybe it wouldn’t bother me as much if I wasn’t sitting directly behind her for three fucking hours. The whole time I’m thinking “Do you own a fucking mirror, ho? Can you see yourself? Your weave makes Beyonce cry like the stereotypical Native American man does about littering.”
I just can’t. I can’t. Her weave is a crime against humanity and my eyes.
Or just go here.
*shakes fist* IT’S CLOSE BUT IT IS NOT THE BARRELL CURL I NEED! On the serious, though, my eyes teared up at this website in sheer joy. I luh you, Britz.
I am so glad wig shops have entire departments dedicated to Beyonce. I wonder what that bitch’s wig closet looks like. Jealousy: thy name is Niki.
This is a musical group called RichGirl. K no one cares
Point: WHERE DO I GET A FAKING WIG LIKE THIS BITCH ON THE FAR RIGHT?
I’ve been looking, you have no idea
Beyonce - Why Don’t You Love Me?
I am so gay for you, Beyonce.
AND YOUR STYLISTS UNFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Icy Spicy Leoncie - Man! Let’s Have Fun
Have I ever lied to you guys?
Then trust me when I say you need to watch this, AND EVERY Icy Spicy Leoncie video, ever.
You will laugh.
You will cry.
You will thank me.
Last week I watched one of those “MTV: True Life” episodes and there was a girl my age who was a compulsive shopper and wore different colored wigs everyday! I thought to myself, “how dope would that be to have red hair today, then white tonight?” And do you know how I answered myself? I said “pretty effin’ dope”. Then I see this week that Sterner has one coming pony express. So you know it’s good.
But now I can’t fuckin buy a wig, Sterner! I need to start acting more on my random thoughts! Take life by the balls. Aka wear more fake hairz.
Listen, Eyermann. Get on the wig train. I need someone else to wear one with me when I go out and get drunk-it’s a safety in numbers kind of thing.
eBay. Say yes.
Here are all the other wigs I want.
I know, you care.