Stefan’s out of town a-fucking-gain for the 8millionth time and I’m sitting here super insanely tired because I went out last night and got really drunk and then came home and stayed up until 4 a.m. to finish the last 2 episodes of “Big Love” because I’m an idiot.
I could have gone out to sushi with this insane old guy who’s been chasing me around, but I opted to stay home and work and eat ramen. Idiot.
So have I told you guys I have some kind of psychological block that prohibits me from ever watching/getting into/checking out anything that is currently really popular?
For instance: if a show comes out and it gets critical acclaim and people are into it I basically have to wait until the season (or entire show) is over to watch it. It’s sick. It’s weird. I am an idiot.
Anyway, I’m on an insane Mormon kick after watching every available episode of TLC’s Sister Wives, so the logical explanation was for me to immediately start watching Big Love, a show that started in 2006. SIX YEARS AGO. Six years ago, when it first came out and people were jizzing themselves over it’s weird and wacky yet believable dialogue and pretty epic acting, I literally shat myself with the level of not caring I felt towards the show. Fast forward to now and I’m staying up until 4 a.m. eating almonds and hiccuping because the show had turned into such a circus that I felt absolutely compelled to finish that shit so I could put it to bed. Which is, of course, what I ended up doing so good for me?
I have no idea if you’ve watched Big Love, but it’s one of those shows that completely jumps the shark at the start of season 4. Seasons 1-3 had plenty of nonsense, but season 4 goes way off the fucking deep end almost right off the bat. In one episode, main characters are trapped by the Mormon Mob in Mexico, someone’s arm gets cut off, and there’s a bomb scare in a casino. And I know I’m actually leaving 2 or 3 other storylines out, that is how insane the show gets in season 4. It turned into a complete soap opera and it really bummed me out. Anyhoo, my quest to find out more about what I am now convinced is the craziest religion on the face of this planet (and that is really saying something, if you think about it) is not over. Did you know women can’t get into heaven without a Priesthood Holder? Yeah. That’s usually their husbands, but they need one to get into heaven because you see all people are given a special secret name at a certain point in their lives to be whispered by their Priesthood Holder in heaven which gets them in. In other words, they get a password to Heaven in the form of a secret name which only a man close to them knows and must whisper for them to get their afterlife on. GOD I LOVE MORMONS. THEY ARE ALL FUCKING INSANE. I AM NEVER GOING TO STOP LOVING THEM.
I watched a couple of episodes of Girls today and I must say…a bit tedious, don’t you think? It’s also really depressing that I feel the closest to the character that dresses like an idiot and mostly acts like a cunty cardboard box in every scene.
Although…the choices for character bonding in this show are tough. You’ve got the whiny rich girl living off of her parents, the whiny rich girl living off of her parents, and the whiny rich girl living off of her parents. Wait.
I really enjoyed Tiny Furniture (for the most part) and while Girls is also mostly enjoyable, there is something so soulless about every character I can tell I’m going to lose interest soon. I hate to say it and date myself, but Sex and the City had less cuntery in it and a much better looking cast. I’m just going to fucking get it all out here and you can eat dicks if this offends you but JESUS CHRIST IS THIS THE UGLIEST CAST OF BROADS I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE EVEN THE “HOT” ONE IS SORT OF A FLABBY SACK OF OLD POTATOES thank you and good night. Also, if the show continues to do tight scenes of these ugly chicks eating, I’m going to write Lena Dumbass hate mail every night before I go to bed and mail it to her agent with a sack of shit. NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE YOUR NASTY ASS GULPING DOWN CEREAL, CUPCAKES, ICE CREAM, OR ANY GODDAMN THING ELSE. THANK YOU AGAIN.
I get really worked up about shit like this because watching people eat disgusts me. Not all people, but most people. DEFINITELY FLABBY, PALE PEOPLE. And if you chew with your mouth open I’ll strangle you.
I just got a text that said “Beverly Hills: always good for a laugh”. So true, friend. So true.