The Pros and Cons of Being a Good Friend
philolzophy: Pros: Never unwillingly spend a Saturday night alone Won’t feel like a major asshole People won’t refer to you behind your back as “the honeydew in the fruit salad of life” Probably can call in reasonable favors Active and exciting social media presence If someone comes to visit you from out of town you can present options for things to do versus spending the night going to...
Ryan Gosling To Make 'Monster' Directorial Debut...
fuckyeahchristinahendricks: Ryan Gosling is making his directorial debut with “How To Catch a Monster,” it was announced today. The film — produced by Marc Platt and Adam Siegel on behalf of Marc Platt Productions — will be based on an original screenplay by Gosling, and star his “Drive” co-star Christina Hendricks. “I am very appreciative to Marc Platt, Adam Siegel and Bold Films for being so...
what is the answer for having high levels of aggression and no where to put it maybe you should join a street hockey team or something like that what is the answer for people with a lot of aggression who are also hermits there is no answer for your people
Nailz Did: For my Sterner
dirtycolorado: Mama Niki: yesterday when I was in hair and make up and the other models were asked to take off their nail polish, I got to keep mine on. Everyone was like, “ooooh gurl, I like dat color!” I was pretty proud of myself. Then, one of the models asked me if it was gel. I said, no bitch I did them all on my own. Thought you would like this. I would just like to say to all the women...
Am I the world's biggest asshole?
Today, I encountered waves of stupidity so deep, so painful, so astounding, it made me doubt my own place on this planet earth. And it led me to think-maybe I deserve this? Maybe my inner, negative, angry voice is what is bringing me all these dealings with fucking idiots? It’s me? Maybe? I don’t know. I read a lot about the law of attraction, the hip-before-the-recession concept...
Playboy Interviews: Richard Dawkins
Published August 20th, 2012. Richard Dawkins, the patron saint of nonbelievers, caused a stir earlier this year during a debate with the Archbishop of Canterbury, who noted that his opponent is often described as the world’s most famous atheist. “Not by me,” Dawkins replied before providing his standard explanation—a supreme being is possible but highly improbable—which led a London newspaper to...
this dog I have
verymodernman: I have this dog and he won’t stop answering the phone while I’m at work. I’m getting in trouble with the government in the beginning it was just local government, city stuff, doing surveys and my dog would use this Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboard app he downloaded to his iPhone to respond it was of course all very threatening and obscene they didn’t like it one bit and...
fancyismymiddlename: A few nights ago we held a small dinner for some friends and their children, casual with plenty of wine. As I moved between the kitchen and dining room in preparation, checking the tenderness of the beans, filling carafes with water, refolding the napkins, I thought of my mother in a batik maxi dress, entertaining neighbors on our back porch. As I climbed the stairs to...
By Hugh Hefner. In 1965 Indiana police arrested Charles Cotner and charged him with an “abominable and detestable crime against nature.” His offense? Consensual anal sex with his wife. He faced 14 years in prison. When I first learned about Cotner’s case—his attorney wrote to PLAYBOY to seek our assistance—I was appalled. His wife, who signed the complaint after the couple had argued, changed her...
This is neither here nor there
but I’m wondering if any of you fine readers can tell me: were you born with a nose that got smaller as you got older? I thought this was a physical impossibility but I could be wrong. I’m referring to both Angelina Jolie and Natalie Portman*, who both had sort of “plump” noses as teenagers and now have very refined schnozes. The changes are SO subtle it’s hard to...
Jonah Falcon, Man With World's Largest Penis,... →
I’d like to thank Jonah Falcon for the newest addition to my home page quote section: “IT’S MY DICK” - Jonah Falcon Turns out it’s legal to have a weapon of mass conception at the airport. Jonah Falcon was stopped and frisked by the TSA at the San Francisco International Airport on July 9 because of a bulging package hidden in his pants. But the 41-year-old New...
Not only was your poop some of the finest poop...
EVERYBODY LOVES POOPSENDERS.COM
You ever have one of those friends who refuses to text you? Like they view the concept of texting as so repugnant they’ll completely refuse to do it at all and will call you over and over again just to tell you something that could have easily fit into 140 characters? I hate people that don’t text because I absolutely hate talking on the telephone. I am that asshole person that...
He came from somewhere back in her long ago The sentimental fool don’t see Tryin’ hard to recreate What had yet to be created once in her life She musters a smile for his nostalgic tale Never coming near what he wanted to say Only to realize It never really was She had a place in his life He never made her think twice As he rises to her apology Anybody else would surely...
I'm going to stab you, then myself
On Mondays, Stefan likes to go golfing. All fucking day. Followed by eating a lot of meat and drinking a lot of beer at his best pal’s house. He’s certainly entitled to it, since he spends literally 99.9% of the rest of his time with me, but Monday is always the day the Shit Hits the Fan. It’s the day I need the most help, and I’m all goddamn alone. I woke up today to the...
Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible,...
John Dies at the End
fckypym asked: Trying to make the world a better place one boner at a time <3
Anonymous asked: I have wrinkles on my face already, mostly my forehead and I'm only 18. I started getting them before freshman year of high school. To top it off, acne. I can kinda relate to your post.
Mind-Cruton: Shit I'm Trying To Do
frightfulishrelease: Compliment others loudly and frequently Find ways to tell my friends I, like, “value” them without barfing everywhere or punching myself in the face Ask for what I fucking want Stop procrastinating on shit that actually matters Look after myself physically and mentally (lettuce instead of frosting as a sandwich-side? Where they do dat at? ) Accept social invitations...
Anonymous asked: I really enjoy reading what you write. I really don't lose focus because it's really entertaining. You have a way with words. :)
Anonymous asked: Worse: Lana Del Rey, or Nicki Minaj?
Anonymous asked: how many followers do you have?