Welcome to Charming or Tedious.

Mature men aren’t easily rattled to where
they act out, become defensive or blame others.

   Mature men remain calm even when things are at
their most intense and uncertain.

   This “groundedness” is something most women
love and appreciate about their man when push
comes to shove.

   Immature men, on the other hand, can’t handle
a woman’s real feelings and fall apart when even
the smallest hint of conflict or tension comes up.

   Here’s something you should know…

   Mature men can handle your most intense
feelings and remain honest and thoughtful when
you share them (although they won’t always agree
with you, or give you what you want).

   Immature men become unsettled and react
negatively when a woman is the least bit honest
and concerned about anything that isn’t great in
their relationship.

   Immature men will act as though a woman should
have never talked about or brought up anything
about the relationship that’s on her mind that
isn’t fun, complimentary, or about sex.

   Here’s one reason why less mature men act this
way-

   They often take what a woman is feeling not to
be a show of care and concern for the
relationship…
   
   Instead, they take it as a CRITICISM about
themselves as men.

   This comes from the false belief many immature
or less experienced men hold that a woman should
simply be happy because they are together.

   And that everything else is “drama” or
unnecessary worry or details.

*Hint- men want nothing as much as to make the
woman they’re interested in or with feel happy.

   More mature men aren’t afraid of a woman’s
feelings, and won’t let things go off the deep
end emotionally just because a problem or less-
than-great feeling has been shared.

   They understand that if a woman is bothered,
upset, or concerned with something in their
relationship… that it doesn’t mean that she’s
UNHAPPY.

   It just means there’s something she’s seeing
or feeling that she needs to share and address.

   The IDEAL way for a man to be with a woman is
to stay in that strong and centered place where
no matter what his woman brings to him- he’ll
listen to her feelings and keep loving and
supporting her.

   That means that a man will be at his MOST
SUPPORTIVE when a woman has intense feelings to
share that are about him, their relationship, or
how she’s feeling.

   Healthy and mature men have an easier time
listening and communicating in a calm and loving
way when his woman is at her most intense with
him.   

   Choosing a man who already has this quality
of remaining “calm in the storm” can and will make
everything in your relationship much easier.

   Also…

   Being conscious about HOW YOU COMMUNICATE
your feelings with your man, and taking care to
not accidentally make him feel CRITICIZED, is the
sign of a healthy and mature woman.

-Christian Carter

And, as you probably already know, feelings and
emotions can change almost instantly.

   My favorite example of this is when a child is
tired or unhappy and something happens to them
physically, like being lightly bumped, etc.

   The child will fall down, pretending to be
terribly hurt and start crying.

   But if you put a new toy or a piece of candy in
front of them EVERYTHING changes in an instant.

-Christian Carter

   Most men and women like to think that in a
relationship, it SHOULD feel comfortable and safe
and “easy” most of the time.

   And most men and women have the strong
SUBCONSCIOUS BELIEF that the people who have good
long-term committed relationships were just lucky
enough to find that magic person who eliminates
all the resistance, obstacles and challenges other
couples experience.

   But the OPPOSITE is true.

   Open, honest, “real” relationships still have
LOTS of challenges, doubts, “phases” and fears in
them.

   In fact, in a way, they have MORE CHALLENGES
because both people are truly open and honest
about who they are and what they’re feeling.

   The difference is how both people in the
relationship accept, understand, and deal with
these “realities.”

   Do you panic, creating more emotional
uncertainty, and negative disconnected feelings?

   Or are you calm, confident, and assured in a
way that lets your lover know things aren’t going to be
difficult and tiresome with you in the future?

-Christian Carter

Pretty apt, sir.